Category Archives: Marketing Run Amok

A Pizza With An Ear Infection: Sandwich Monday Takes On the Crazy Cheesy Crust Pizza

Oh, ‘Merica. In the never-ending quest of American fast food chains to fill us with fat, Pizza Hut has created a cheese pizza with bowls of cheese ringing the pizza. We wish we were kidding. It’s called the Crazy Cheesy Crust Pizza, and it is undeniably all those things. Even though a pizza is clearly not a sandwich, the awesome team at NPR’s Sandwich Monday took the plunge (into a pool of cheese) to review the Hut’s latest offering. Hilarity ensues. Oh my God, does hilarity ensue.

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What Is Not To Love: NPR’s “Wait, Wait” Crew Tries and Skewers Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos

The apocalypse is nigh.

This. Is. Amazing.

It’s the NPR “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me” crew in their Sandwich Monday feature on The Salt (NPR’s erstwhile food blog) — tackling the “sandwich” that is the new Cool Ranch Doritos Loco Taco. Best quote is a toss up between, “Is there such a thing as Don’tritos?” and the observation, “If grown-ups put “cool” in front of something, teenagers will automatically NOT eat it” followed by Peter Sagal (fresh from his SXSW appearance) cracking, “Is this why my kids refuse to sit and watch PBS Cool Newshour with Cool Lehrer with me?”

Also, read of last week’s outrage in which Taco Bell fans were deprived of the latest offering because social media jumped the gun and said Wednesday when they meant Thursday. Easy there, ‘Merica.

Report from CES: Qualcomm Clearly Trying Too Hard, and The Verge Wins the Internet Today

“The Internet of Everything!” Please let’s make The Internet of Everything Bowl (featuring two 7-5 teams, natch) happen this year (around Dec. 23, natch). (Photo credit: The Verge)

So, the CES is happening now in Las Vegas — the big annual conference that highlights consumer electronics — and Qualcomm had the honors of delivering Monday night’s keynote presentation. Lovingly documented by The Verge, the presentation featured:

* Three actors depicting hip new youth in a way that makes The CW look PBS-staid by comparison
* Big Bird alongside a man wearing what appears to be a Big Bird pelt
* Maroon Five, with Dido overdubbed on the feed (creating a decidedly different experience for those in the arena vs. the rest of the world)
* Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer doing the Running Man (literally)
* Guillermo del Toro showing a room full of a technology professionals a slashery vampire scene from Blade II
* Bishop Desmond Tutu
* An electric-powered Rolls Royce

All of this (especially jumbled into one presentation) is sort of over-the-top awesome, hatched up by a team no doubt wanting to make a splash, and ending up making a different sort of Twitter-snarky splash. (Really, the best part of The Verge’s coverage is using tweets to help narrate the evening’s programming.)

At the end of the day, though, phrases like “Born Mobile,” “Generation M” (or, worse, “Gen M”), and “The Internet of Everything” has the unmistakable waft of marketers trying too hard to make hip lingo happen. Mobile’s an increasingly important technological sector, to be sure, but today’s youth are never, ever going to call themselves Gen M. (But then again, we’re also skeptical that Kimye will stick as a name for Prince Kanye and Princess Kim.)

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